Boning Rights
by WhereOurVoicesSound
Summary: There were many things Severus Snape was capable of. Dealing with Death Eaters, innumerable crucios, playing the role of a double spy, teaching the dimwits they called students, all of this he could do. Handling an all grown up Girl-Who-Lived who was very intent on getting into his pants was not one of them. (Fem!Harry)
1. Chapter 1

The two day before school opened were the only days Diagon Alley was even remotely alright to roam. A teacher attracted far too much attention from gawking students and parents alike, Snape only doubly so. Sometimes he thought it was almost worth it just to hear them frantically whisper behind his back that they didn't know he could come out in the sun but for the most part it was simply annoying. And Severus Snape, Hogwarts' potions master was already quite annoyed.

After several years worth of speculation Harriet Potter, the-girl-who-lived, had finally returned to the Wizarding world. There had been whispers for years now that she was in hiding or even dead, no one had seen her for years and surely she should have been in Hogwarts? But no, she wasn't.

All those years of Albus frantically searching for her, all the many locating potions and spells and more, yet Harriet's whereabouts were never found. Until this year when a horned owl had dropped a letter of a transfer from Salem Witches' Institute.

All these years of looking for her and she'd simply been on the other side of the ocean in another school. Lunacy. Sheer, unadulterated lunacy.

And all of Albus' plans that had come to nothing in all these years, too dependant on the girl of the prophecy, would finally come to fruition. Snape, who had always felt indebted to Dumbledore, had been privy to the man's madder moments. So he knew how frantic Dumbledore had become, all the ways in which he needed her to be his good little pawn. It had disturbed him to be honest and he had almost come to hope that wherever Potter's girl might have been she stayed there, but alas. Already things were beginning to happen, Albus had finally convinced Moody to serve as their DADA teacher, the Triwizard tournament that had been shelved for all these years was being dusted off, and even Severus had heard murmurs among his former associates. Lucius was far too gleeful and the last time he had been that cheerful he had let a diary containing Voldemort's soul into Hogwarts. To this day Snape shuddered to think of what would have happened if Minerva hadn't confiscated the cursed book that the Weasley twins were messing with to tease their little sister. Thank Merlin and annoying siblings.

And this year with the Triwizard tournament, Mad-Eye Moody (emphasis on the 'Mad') and Harriet Potter, it would definitely be _something_.

But perhaps some good might come out of it after all. The forces of Voldemort had been gathering for a long time now, slowly amassing more number but the Dark Lord himself never stepping out. He was waiting and this was precisely the sort of thing that would drive him out into the open. He never could resist the urge to taunt and play with his prey.

But he wasn't here to think of Voldemort, no, Severus was here for his apothecary supplies.

The bell of the shop tinkled as he leaned against the counter, waiting, and Severus was frustrated and annoyed to see Jiggers step out of the back where he was supposed to be preparing his supplies.

"Yes, how may I help you?"

"Oh, hi, I'm picking up my order, Etsy Evans?"

"Ah, yes, Ms Evans." His bright smile dimmed and he withered as he glanced at Severus who was doing his best to set him on fire with his glare. "Please make yourself comfortable, this may take a little while."

The woman, Etsy, smiled graciously and he went back into the shop and the two strangers were left there alone. A good few minutes' silence passed as they studiously ignored each other. The shrill beep and subsequent jump from her changed that as she lifted one of those 'mobile phones' the muggles were so often seen with now and began an exhausted but indulgent talk.

"Hey babe," She said and yawned away from the mouthpiece. She pulled her hair onto one side and just beside the metallic body of the phone Severus saw a most fascinating thing. A wardstone turned earring in the high point of her ear.

Warding wasn't his field but William was one of the only palatable Weasleys in the bunch and considering how they overran the Order headquarters, he was the one Snape talked to the most. Severus' knowledge of runes and wards had grown considerably and he watched her closely through the corner of his eye.

She was a pretty enough thing, her long brown messy hair flecked with red and copper tones and the very green eyes looked pale against the heavy kohl. Pretty but it wasn't that that was interesting.

There were tattoos littering her skin wherever it was bare and he could recognise them. Runes in combinations that were too complex for him to grasp immediately but he knew they were for protection of different sorts. Even the various 'charms' hanging off her bracelets were amulets meant for protecting, one he knew to be a charm to detect poison in food, it would glow red if it was held above anything containing poison, a charm he could fool but only with some very complex potions. Severus was the most paranoid person he knew barring the Dark Lord and even he didn't take half as many measures as this woman did.

This woman who was looking right at him with a very amused look on her face. Clearly his scrutiny hadn't gone unnoticed.

"Curious?" She asked, laughter in her voice and he flushed at the thought of being caught. He sneered but her smile just grew wider and he felt very impotent in that moment. His ability to strike fear and trepidation in people was the one thing he was proud of, even Lucius flinched at his sneers and yet someone had just smiled at him for it. "You could just ask."

"And you would answer?" He sneered hoping for some normal reaction beyond just smiles and laughter but she just smirked.

"As long as I was able to." She turned to face him fully and held out her hand. "Etsy."

After a moment's hesitation he took it. "Severus."

She pulled him closer by the hand she had yet to release and looked him in the eye. And Severus, who was limited in his social circle to teachers, students, occasional assistants in apothecaries and Molly Weasley, swallowed discreetly. "We should get coffee."

"I don't drink coffee." He said, his voice not nearly as cold as he was hoping for it to sound and she smiled wickedly.

"Cofee, tea, whatever works." Somehow she managed to pull him in even closer and as their breaths mingled and he smelled the spice of cinnamon on hers he realised that this really wasn't very appropriate. "Maybe a...midnight snack?"

 _Really_ quite inappropriate. There was no mistaking what she meant by that.

He was saved answering her when Jiggers stepped out of the backroom, this time with a fully laden apothecary bag in hand. He disengaged himself from the woman to go over all the potion ingredients carefully and when he was done he found Jiggers gone and Etsy looking at him very amused.

"Potions over nookie I see." She waggled her eyebrows at him and if the amused glances she was flicking at his ears were anything to go by, they had turned red.

Ridiculous. He could pretend to be a Death Eater in the Dark Lords inner circle with ease but was unable to keep from flushing to a bit of innuendo. Pathetic.

Oh, how he loathed himself.

Although to be fair there really wasn't any innuendo in the last bit at all. Quite blatant really.

"I'm afraid I must be leaving now. No time for coffee or midnight snacks." He looked down his nose at her but she just leaned in and hummed in a low voice that had his blood rushing from his head all the way down south.

"Pity." He was halfway out the door when she called out to him again. "Owl me."

He coughed and apparated out of there faster than when escaping one of the Dark Lord's bad moods.

Still, he made sure to remember her name. Perhaps he might just be owling Etsy Evans sometime.

* * *

Ah, Hogwarts. Soon the castle would be filled to the brim with those nitwits they called students and he would finally be at peace. Watching Gryffindor's hourglass lose rubies was always such a calming, pleasant experience. The tinkling sounds of them falling away and by some strange coincidence filling the coffers of the Slytherin counter would be a lovely sound to fall asleep to. He would be able to sleep without dreams of brunette witches with tattoos invading his slumber.

"She should be here by now." Black growled out and paced the room. Part of him was glad to see his frustration. A much bigger part was annoyed beyond compare. Albus in his infinite wisdom had decided that the Potter chit would fit in better if her godfather were there in school and had dismissed Binns so that Black might have a job. It was bad enough that the werewolf had gotten Black free three years ago, that blasted map that showed Pettigrew ruining everything, but now Albus had the gall to hire Black as a professor! Black, that idiot who hadn't gone through a single class of Binns' without sleeping. Some history professor he would be.

Severus was snapped out of his thoughts as one of the portraits rushed to inform them that the Girl-Who-Lived was in the hallway outside. In the staffroom, three professors held their breath while the other poured himself some tea. Black practically vibrated in his boots and even Albus' twinkle was rising to unholy levels.

The door shifted inwards and the silence grew more and more tense with every passing millisecond. Severus rolled his eyes and focused instead on the cup of tea in his hands. It was perfectly brewed, bitter and strong and just warm enough to not burn his tongue.

"Hi, I'm Harriet. I'm the transfer student from Salem, they told me I needed to be...sorted?" A too familiar voice said and he looked up with trepidation only to have his fears confirmed. Etsy Evans stood at the door, very tight dragonhide trousers, tattoos and all. His cup fell from his grasp shattering on the floor and dropping tea all over his robes.

Well, fuck.


	2. Chapter 2

Harriet Evans-Potter ( _'Call me Etsy, no really I insist,_ _ **don't**_ _make me punch you, you little shit!'_ ) paused in her step as the castle of Hogwarts and its gates came into view. Hogsmeade stood behind her, all but empty as school had yet to start. An odd man with a very grouchy face stood at the gates, waiting to let her in but she took a moment to breathe in the air of this new world she was going to enter.

Crisp cold air, chocolate from Honeydukes, leaves that were beginning to think of falling and the overwhelming smell of owl droppings. Ah, Wizarding Europe.

Or, more specifically, Wizarding UK. Wizarding Germany was okay. Although that might just be beer goggles. The few minutes after she'd taken the sobering potion to take the portkey to London was probably the only time she'd been sober there.

She missed it already.

But at least she was seventeen, an adult in every sense of the term and free to do magic whenever she wanted, wherever she wanted. And it _was_ Hogwarts after all. Where her parents had spent their pre-teen and teenage years, met and fallen in love. And it really was very nice. Majestic, giant, and _such_ beautiful wards even though some of them clearly needed recharging. They weren't at full-throttle yet though, no, that would probably happen when the other students would arrive as well. All those magical beings and their excitement would fire up the anchor stones within seconds.

"Well come on then. You're late." The old grouchy man yelled at her from the gates and she moved forward briskly hefting the duffel bag over her shoulder. "Bloody students—"He started saying and then began muttering under his breath. They didn't seem to be very flattering things but she was just too cheerful to let him rain on her parade. It had just been over a month since she'd finally been permitted to conduct the ritual that threw old Voldie's mouldy bit of soul out of her scar and already she felt so light and happy and un-broody! Amazing what a decent amount of sleep and the lack of a foreign soul residing in a curse scar could do to a person.

Plus, she was going to see Severus again. Jiggers at the apothecary had been very kind and told her all about the man when she made the right noises and pressed the right buttons. The potions teacher at Hogwarts, one of the youngest to become a potions master. Aunt Petunia had never told her about that. She'd told her all about that blasted boy down the street and how wicked he was, how he'd led her poor (but still freakish) sister along the wrong way. She'd never mentioned how adorable he was. Etsy wondered if his ears would turn red again when he realized she was his student and he didn't need to owl her at all. She just couldn't wait!

* * *

Severus didn't blush at all. How utterly disappointing. Instead, he turned bone white. Still adorable but not quite the reaction she was hoping for. Oh well, she had an entire year to get him.

"You look just like your grandmother." One of the other people there said with a strange look in his eye. She gathered that he must have known her parents somehow and shot him a small smile. It didn't exactly mean much, from what she had seen everyone in the Wizarding UK had heard of her, her parents and by extension most of her family tree. Probably a fan boy, she thought and dismissed him. He hadn't bothered to introduce himself so she allowed her eyes to wander over the office and its inhabitants instead.

There was the infamous Dumbledore with that strange glint in his eye. It had been the subject of many a conversation back in school where they'd speculated the cause of it. The most famous theory was that he had x-ray lenses that allowed him to see everyone's _everything_. Of course, no one actually believed it, spelling his glasses for that made much more sense and the chances that he'd even heard of lenses was far-fetched. The most accepted one was that his wandless magic was directed through his sight and caused a distortion of light. Not nearly as exciting or scandalous.

The other person was the tight-lipped woman with the big slumberous eyes who must have been very va-va-voom when she was young. Just those four and the Sorting hat of course. She could see it on a desk behind Dumbledore and the other dude who was actually still talking and hadn't noticed that she wasn't listening to him. "—used to have black hair when you were a wee baby."

"I still do, I just dye it, Mr-?"

His grin dropped hard. It was kind of pathetic but still funny. "Sirius, Sirius Black. I'm your-"He choked off making a sound that sounded a fair bit like a sob which had her panicking, tears weren't her forte. "I'm your godfather."

"Right, I read about that. You were just released like a couple of years ago from Azkaban, wrongful imprisonment." He looked nothing like the crazy man from the newspapers.

"My dear girl, if things had been just a bit different you might have been raised by him." Dumbledore twinkled sadly down at her.

Severus snorted. "Oh please, she'd be the one raising Black and you know it." He said waspishly and her godfather glared at him.

"Gentlemen please," She interrupted, eager to get this show on the road. While watching Severus get hot and bothered was wonderfully fun it wasn't quite as fun if she wasn't the one who got him all riled up. "Why don't you wait to know me a bit better before fighting over me? Not that I don't appreciate it." She winked at Severus and _finally_ the tips of his ears turned red.

She'd never felt more accomplished her entire life.

"But what in Merlin's name were you doing in America?" Sirius Black asked with a crazy frantic look that was more reminiscent of the escaped convict picture. Clearly, he was still in the middle of the process of getting better.

"Well I was living there, I was studying there, playing soccer—that's football to you folk—and I made friends and I kissed a boy and then I kissed a girl and then I fucked a —"

"Ms Potter, you are to refrain from such language!" The tight-lipped woman's face tightened with disapproval.

"Evans or Evans-Potter." Etsy shot right back at her. The whole cold,stern getup might have worked if she was younger or if she really cared but that just wasn't the case. She was all grown up now and all about teenage rebellion.

"I beg your pardon?!"

"I don't respond to being called Potter. While the Wizarding World that for some strange reason worships me might like to gloss over the fact that the Girl-Who-Lived is a half-blood, I'm not going to do so. Especially when it is the blood protection of the _Evans_ side that had kept me safe from old Moldy Wart."

Etsy didn't mention the fact that it made hiding from the press and the crazy ass public much easier. She also wasn't going to mention that there was a Harlow Potter in her class back at Salem and a game of rock-paper-scissors had decided that she would go by Evans to make roll call go way easier.

If they were going to expect greatness from her, she might as well ham it up.

"Why didn't Petunia ever tell anyone where you were?" Dumbledore mused absently and Etsy snorted.

"You're not family or friend, why would she tell you where I am?"

"Surely she must know how important you are to everyone." Dumbledore protested.

"So important that I was left on her doorstep in the middle of an early November night while I was a baby with a still developing immune system? That doesn't seem very important Headmaster Dumbledore." The tight-lipped woman and Sirius both turned to glare at Dumbledore, which suffused Etsy with joy and happiness. How anyone could leave the welfare of a bazillion students in his hands Etsy just didn't understand at all. "So when's this sorting going to happen anyway?"

"Gryffindor, just like your Mum and Dad, you'll see." Sirius said with great assurance and Severus sneered at him.

"What do you know of the houses Ms Evans?" The tight-lipped woman asked and they all looked at her with interest. Except for Severus who was blushing all of a sudden. Oh, what she would give to know what he was thinking of. She herself was thinking of gathering him up against the wall.

"Gryffindor is supposed to be for the brave, Ravenclaw for wit and smarts, Slytherin for cunning and ambition while Hufflepuff is for loyalty. I will be putting on the hat and it will then probe my mind, see which house I'm best suited for and sort me."

Hermione had told her that already when she'd asked her about Hogwarts. Etsy knew she wouldn't be in Gryffindor, sounded too much like a house full of overcompensating idiots and Mione had told her enough about Ron Weasley for her to know she didn't wnat to share any dorm space with him. Etsy wouldn't be a Slytherin either, she was too upfront in her approaches to be considered cunning. Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff sounded much better.

With one last check on the protection charms on her hair, she jammed the hat down on her head praying fervently to the Powers that Be that the hat didn't have lice as she caught Severus' eye.

* * *

The bright green eyes disappeared under the brim of the hat with one last wink directed at him and Severus' mind raced, jumped, panicked, spluttered and died.

Fucking Merlin, he was fucked. She wasn't trying to be subtle even in front of Minerva and Albus, he was going to be thrown out of Hogwarts for defiling the Girl-Who-Lived. He could protest, say that she was the one defiling him even under Veritaserum but no one was ever going to believe it. He was a former Death Eater and she was the Saviour of the Wizarding World.

Fuck.

"It's taking a while," Black said and Snape was jolted out of his thoughts. A discreet Tempus charm revealed that it had been less than a minute since she'd put the hat on. Really, just because it had taken all of a second for the hat to put Black into Gryffindor.

"You're an idiot." Severus told Black and the idiot bristled. "The hat takes longer with adults, their thoughts are complex and -"

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

Well, now _Severus_ looked like an idiot.

On the upside, Black looked like he was going to cry just because she wasn't a Gryff. Albus and Minerva were surprised as well and to be honest, so was he. When she'd begun sniping at Albus for leaving her on Tuney's doorstep he'd thought she would make a good Slytherin. Yes, she didn't have the cunning and subtlety that Slytherin valued but his godson was in Slytherin after all and while he was fond of Draco, anybody who called him subtle would have the rare opportunity to see Severus Snape, Dungeon Bat, Potions Master etc laugh like he'd been hit with the strongest Rictusempra in existence.

"Excellent!" Albus announced while Minerva looked over Black in concern. The man had taken to muttering under his breath and years of experience with non-verbal communication meant that Severus was well aware that Minerva would bully the man into going to the hospital wing and have Poppy look him over the second they stepped out. "Severus, if you would please stay for a moment?"

Etsy looked like she was going to protest that but Black distracted her and ushered her out, loudly telling her of all the rules that he and his band of idiots had broken in Hogwarts, Minerva scolding him as she followed them out. Severus hoped that Albus got this done with quick, he really needed to go to his chambers and drown himself in Firewhiskey and Calming draughts and then make sure his Dreamless Sleep potion inventory was full so he didn't dream of his new student at night.

"Severus, I want you to watch young Ms Potter carefully-"

Bollocks.

"-measure her every movement-"

Shite.

"-I believe a bit of light Legilimency might be required to discern young Ms Potter's moral leanings -"

Bugger.

"-I know I can trust you to be discreet-"

Fuck.

"-and do your utmost to guide her."

He just couldn't catch a break could he?

* * *

 **A/N: Hello everyone and thanks to everyone who's faved, followed, reviewed and just plain read the story, big thumbs up to all of you folk! Should find out why she was America in the next chapter and more importantly, we see Severus squirm some more which is like watching kitten videos on the internet, much adorable, very like.**

 **Until next time!**


	3. Chapter 3

There she was, typical Potter hanging off the arms of...Finch-Fletchley?

"Apparently they know each other," Pomona announced to the rest of the staff table cheerfully and Severus realised he'd said it out loud, "I was going to tell young Susan to look out for her but she seems to be fitting in well."

That was an understatement. She held him in a tight headlock under her arm while talking to Macmillan and Bones, occasionally twisting her arm around his head further. Finally she let him go and he flung his arm around her without a thought, _of course_ he did.

Made perfect sense, course Potter wasn't interested in an old Potions Master, no, she was young and enjoying her youth with her similarly age-inclined peers. Severus was perfectly fine with that, he was not affected by it at all. That would be ridiculous.

On an entirely different note he would need to step by the hospital wing and have Poppy look over him. There seemed to be something wrong with his bowels. He hadn't felt this sick since his own student days, when Narcissa's honeysuckle perfume would make him feel off.

Minerva was still flitting about, having to do a million chores for Dumbledore, running from one end to the other. The first years would be arriving soon, Peeves was terrorising everyone and some of her Gryffindors had gotten into fights on the train as usual. But she looked odder than usual, shaken somehow and Severus almost felt sorry for her.

"What's gotten into Minerva?" He asked Filius who had just uncharmed an enchanted set of armour for her. "Seems worse than usual."

"You remember Ms Granger from six years ago?"

Not in the least. Remembering the names of his own students was enough of a chore without adding others to that list.

Pomona huffed at him. "You know, the first year who was injured by that troll all those years ago, her parents pulled her out of school just two months in."

Ah, the annoying know-it-all. Yes, he remembered her. He graded all her essays an A because she exceeded the assigned length by at least an entire foot every time. Annoying chit.

"Yes, I remember now."

"Well apparently Minnie found out she transferred to Salem, not just a Muggle school as we thought." No doubt as to whom she found that out from. Potter was at the Hufflepuff table, now gesticulating wildly while Finch-Fletchley used the...Merlin's beard he was using the pewter rods they used for stirring to pretend to play a drum, such blatant disrespect to equipment!

Why on Earth was he carrying them in his school robes in the first place? Severus would never understand Hufflepuffs.

"What's so disturbing about that?" He asked, making a mental note to call the boy out in class. It wouldn't do to let him get away with this.

"Ms Pott- ah, Ms Evans mentioned that Salem's no tolerance policy for bullying was one of the main reasons Ms Granger transferred there and under their tutelage she graduated two years ago. Apparently she's currently studying for a Masters in Kinetic Thaumaturgy at Caltech, whatever that is."

Ah, that explained it. The Americans did it differently but Transfiguration was just another branch of Kinetic Thaumaturgy and Minerva had lost a brilliant student, all due to the student being bullied badly in the House she ran. That must have stung hard.

"So did anyone find out why Potter moved to America in the first place?" Maybe if he found that out Dumbeldore wouldn't assign him to be her stalker. Severus wasn't looking forward to that or the 'light legilimency' Albus recommended. The way she talked was frank enough, what would thoughts be?

"Evans," Pomona emphasised and glared at him. Severus rolled his eyes, he had to call her Potter because if he began thinking of her as Evans he would slip up and call her Etsy, thinking of cinnamon scented breath and then students would ask why he was calling her by her pet name and then the board of governors would get involved and that would not be good. Bad enough that the Dark Lord would Avada him if he lost his position in Hogwarts, Dumbledore might be even worse.

"Yes alright, why did _Evans_ move to America?"

Pomona scrunched up her face. "It's so stupid and simple. Her uncle had a heart attack and died and his sister was making a nuisance of herself over custody. Apparently there was some family they had in America and her aunt decided to try her luck there instead of staying in the country."

That made sense. Good, now maybe Severus wouldn't be so interested in her and Dumbledore wouldn't tell him to be her new tail.

"That still doesn't explain one thing," Flitwick said and Severus could feel his heart sink. "Why did she come back then?"

...Why _did_ she come back?

* * *

Etsy watched as streams of itty-bitty kiddies waited to be sorted by the hat. Her mind weighed on whether it was weirder for the hat to sing or for the hat to probe minds. Then again, it must have all year to do nothing; the only person it saw regularly was probably Dumbledore. He'd been headmaster for very long though. She shuddered at the thought of having only Dumbledore's mind to read for 12 months getting a brief reprieve to talk to a bunch of 11 year olds.

That couldn't be fun. No wonder it was so disappointed she was so easy to sort. She must have been the most interesting-no, not interesting, _sane_ \- person to talk to it in ages.

Severus had been surprised to see her get sorted so quickly though. And a bit disappointed as well. She turned her eyes form the kiddies to the luscious Professor Snape who was clapping reservedly as yet another shithead got sorted into his house. For a moment she'd actually contemplated actually listening to the hat when it said she'd do well in Slytherin. It might have been fun to be closer to him but that would make the chase entirely too easy. Besides, she'd heard he was very partial to his house students. She wanted him to be partial to her for very different reasons.

"Not a lot of Slytherins this year." Justin noted as the sorting ended and the feast began. The Macmillan guy who'd spluttered when he'd heard her name and looked at Justin all weirdly betrayed, nodded.

"There wouldn't be, not now that You-Know-Who is back. No one but the Death Eaters kids would be safe there now."

"Voldemort is back?" Etsy asked and ducked as pumpkin juice (they took the Halloween theme way too far, really, freshly squeezed squash? How ridiculous) spewed out of Macmillan's mouth.

"You said his name!" He spluttered and she couldn't help but shrugged.

"Our Battle Magic teacher never let us call him anything but that. She said fear of a name is stupid especially when it's a stupid name. Course she also went on about him being a stupid English pig butchering the French language for his moronic crusade." When they looked at her with a mixture of shock and confusion, she explained. "She was also the French teacher. We have to take two language electives, one human, one creature based."

"The Salem institute mainly teaches mundane subjects, the magical ones are practical and not theoretical except in some cases like Arithmancy which is combined with the usual Mathematics classes." Justin explained.

"How do you know?" the redhead, something Bones Etsy remembered, asked.

"After seeing all the prejudice in school not to mention Granger getting attacked by a troll, my parents and I went over my other options. They weren't exactly happy about sending me off to a boarding school to learn things for a job I might not get just because I'm a Mudblood." Justin said calmly but his hand was gripping his fork very tight and his friends looked abashed, probably Purebloods themselves.

Blood status wasn't something that came up often back home, simply because most of the Magical Founding families were originated from squibs that had gone off to the New World to live in a society where they wouldn't be demeaned all the time. That and the fact that the Magical and Mundane worlds were integrated in America meant that the transition for the new generation witches and wizards was easier too, which just wasn't the case here.

"The Salem institute is considered to be one of the most balanced schools in that way, the Mahoutokoro school's Tokyo branch has the same mixture but in the last few years it changed its policy a bit so there are more tech classes. It's pretty cool though, they've been working on integrating Nintendo consoles with magic, fascinating rune stuff but the anchor stones need a lot of recharging."

Blank faces stared back at her. "Nidenno? What's that?" Bones asked and beside her Justin was sniggering while she spluttered. It was only just coming to her how very isolationist Wizarding UK was.

"So back to Voldemort," They all flinched and Justin was turning red as he tried to contain his laughter. But really, it was much easier to talk about old Voldie trying to take over the world than explain to Pureboods what a Nintendo was. "He's back? I mean I thought as much, the Prophet doesn't do cover-ups very well but everyone really believes it?"

The people she'd felt out in Diagon Alley hadn't believed it, after all. Fortescue was the only one who did but even he was maintaining a tight lip on it all. Well, him and Ollivander but that was after she'd decoded all his cryptic talk.

"Of course. Dumbledore said it himself." Macmillan answered, looking at her like she was crazy.

"But you _believe_ him?" Which was surprising. Macmillan reminded her very much of a paranoid sheep, always watching out for wolves but forgetting to watch for eagles.

"It's _Dumbledore_." He said as if it explained everything. It was when she continued staring at him that he relented. "And I saw the Dark Mark on Malfoy's arm on the train."

"Pasty blond student in Slytherin. His dad has his fingers in all of the ministry's pies. Too young to have gotten it in the last war" Justin explained.

Etsy finished eating first and turned her attention to the staff table while the rest gorged on desserts. Severus was done as well and looking worriedly over to where McGonagall and Dumbledore were having what appeared to be a rather furious conversation. The severe woman had been very pensive ever since they'd chatted about Hermione, though Etsy wasn't sure why.

The buzz in the room died down as the plates cleared themselves. Dumbledore got to his feet and was just clearing his throat to start a speech when the doors rattled. A few of the itty bitty ones gasped and looked scared, it did sound ominous when combined with the sound of the storm outside and when the doors opened a man with a shitload of scars, a magical eye and a peg leg walked in, leaning on a cane.

Etsy couldn't help the snort. It was every pirate stereotype in one. The only things missing were a tricorn and a parrot. Etsy decided that she had a new aim in life. She was to get him to say 'Arr'.

Shouldn't be too hard.

"That's Mad-Eye Moody." Bones whispered in awe.

"Which part of his name is most relevant? Is his eye madder or is he moodier?"

"Shhh!" One of the other students glared at them and they quieted down. Apparently, Dumbledore was talking.

"-dditch cup will not take place this year."

Shouts and gasps of outrage burst out everywhere. Etsy, who hadn't played much Quidditch due to the Salem Witches' Institute's ongoing boycott of the American Quidditch federation, was amused.

"We have been chosen to be the honoured hosts of the Triwizard tournament."

And excited flurry of voices went up as he explained the Triwizard tournament and how it was established to improve relations between different schools. The delegations from the other schools would be arriving in October so she had at least one month to settle down as a Hogwarts student so there was that at least.

"I would also like to announce that Professor McGonagall s stepping down as head of Gryffindor house this year." The Gryffindor table burst into chatter once again and one of them actually began crying. "Our new History of Magic teacher, Professor Sirius Black will be taking over as the new head of house for Gryffindor."

And Etsy's eyes immediately turned to Severus who had managed to actually bend the goblet's stem in his anger. Good strong hands, those. She looked forward to feeling them all over her. His eye caught hers and she winked at him. He swallowed and turned to glare at Sirius again.

"Isn't that your godfather?" Justin asked.

"Yeah, he's weird. He told me his official title was Dogfather not Godfather. Methinks Azkaban loosened a few screws up there."

"Smart though, to make him head of house this year. No Quidditch cup, it'll be easier for him to get used to the responsibilities."

"I can't believe we're hosting the Triwizard tournament!" Bones exclaimed. "Maybe we'll have a Hufflepuff champion."

"Although, is it just me or is it really stupid to host a tournament that allows all sorts of unknowns onto Hogwarts grounds when Voldemort has returned?" Etsy said absently and all around her faces turned white.

"Not just Voldemort, the bane of his existence, the reason why he was vanquished, the Girl-Who-Lived is in the school as well." Justin proclaimed and it was her turn to glare at him, "Sounds to me like ole Dumbles is laying a trap."

"Oh gee, I wonder who the bait is?" Etsy drawled sarcastically.

* * *

 **A/N: Hello everyone and thanks again to everyone who's faved, followed, reviewed or just plain read the story, I shall endeavour not to disappoint you all.**

 **Until next time!**


	4. Chapter 4

Etsy never had a particularly favourable opinion of Hogwarts. Between Hermione, Justin and her mother's old letters to Aunt Petunia, she had a fair enough idea of what it was like and she wasn't disappointed in her assessment. There was an atmosphere to it and she could see how an eleven year old would lose themselves to the excitement of it but she had come there as a seventeen year old. A seventeen year old who'd been a managing member of enough clubs in school she knew that administratively Hogwarts was lacking.

The ratio of students to staff was approximately twenty to one, the headmaster had up until recently held two other demanding positions in governing bodies, there was no fixed staff member for the DADA because of some curse-and they apparently were unaware of the existence of _Curse-breakers-_ and the Potions professor clearly hated teaching. Then there was her godfather, who by all accounts was just plain not qualified to teach.

And then came the subjects. There was a huge cultural difference sure and the Wizarding World here was seriously isolated from the Mundane world but why the fuck didn't they at least have a gym class and math? For people who didn't quite trust goblins with money, they sure allowed them a lot of leeway with it. In the common room she'd seen a boy a year only a year younger than her get fleeced out of money and he didn't even realise he overpaid because he couldn't fucking calculate converting the galleons into knuts.

Absently she wondered if that was the Rotfang conspiracy the Ravenclaw blonde was talking about. Rotfang sounded like a goblin name, maybe Gringotts was part of this whole thing to make Wizards idiots. Yes, they didn't need to do much but still. She'd have to look up that blonde later, Etsy needed some voice of reason in this mess. Justin had been indoctrinated and just shrugged anytime something came up. To be fair, his usual response of 'They're Pureblood wizards, half of them are so inbred I feel like clapping when they call me Mudblood just because they managed to talk' wasn't exactly invalid, but still!

Where was the revolution? Where was the outrage? Where were the parents complaining about sub-par education and dangers of itty bitty kids living next to a forest that was literally and metaphorically Forbidden, not to mention the absolutely outrageous tuition?

She shuddered to think of what kind of mindless drone zombie of a person she'd be if she had gone to the school all seven years. Would she even exist as anything other than a talking mascot of a house? Everyone else certainly seemed so.

And she was stuck here until Voldie was taken care of so Petunia and Dudley wouldn't be in danger.

God fucking damn it.

Things were looking up though. She had her first lesson with Severus tomorrow.

* * *

Severus Snape, Potions Master, Dungeon bat, Bane of Students (barring Slytherin), Death Eater, Double Spy extraordinaire, hesitated outside his own classroom. Usually this was his most tolerable class, NEWT level students were least likely to blow themselves or others up and they had learnt over the course of the six years prior to shut up and keep their head down. With the incredibly few nitwits who qualified for it, it had the advantage of having all four houses in one class, meaning less interaction with the dunderheads.

It was also one of the classes that Harriet Evans-Potter had qualified for.

Fuck.

Merlin, he couldn't believe this, he was cowering outside his own classroom. Oh, how the mighty had fallen.

With one last fortifying breath his customary scowl settled onto his face, he threw the door open and stalked in, robes billowing behind him impressively. All in all his appearance was par the course, no one would have been able to tell that he had spent five minutes outside the door whimpering like a kicked puppy.

"Settle down," He announced coldly and they chatter of the idiots went down to silence. IF only they could maintain this throughout, then he wouldn't have to try too hard to convince himself that he wasn't stuck in a dead end job he hated but rather sitting in an empty classroom experimenting with potions. Alas, he knew well that this handful might be the bright one sin the bunch but they were still blithering idiotic teenagers. "Congratulations, you have managed somehow to qualify for NEWT potions." He clapped slowly. An idiot in the last row grinned. Anthony Goldstein, clearly a dunderhead incapable of understanding sarcasm. Wonderful.

"If I think for a second that you won't be able to get at least an Acceptable in your exam, you will not be allowed to sit for any classes or the exam. I will not have any bumbling idiot known to be a student of mine." He sneered and was glad to see the class take a collective gulp, when a snort punctuated the silence. He followed the sound to where Justin Finch-Fletchley was smothering laughter while Etsy—no damn it, _Potter_ —fluttered her eyelashes innocently.

Too innocently.

"Ms Potter, our new celebrity transfer." He sneered.

She smiled. It was a slow, predatory thing with too many teeth. She was going to do _something_ , he just knew it.

"Yes, Severus?" She purred and he knew the glamour he'd put on himself was a good idea. He could feel the heat in his ears even as the students tittered.

"That's Professor Snape to you Potter." He snapped but her smile went wider. That look of satisfaction was something he'd seen before, on a vampire right after feeding and he checked to make sure she didn't have the long, pointy canines. Nope, no long pointy canines, just even white teeth and a plush pink mouth.

It was a good thing that robes were so voluminous.

"And it's Ms Evans or Ms Evans-Potter to you. But if you're not going to use my true title then I'm not going to use yours _Severus_."

Severus wanted to sob and rage and also, jack off. He'd never felt that particular cocktail of arousal, anger and trepidation before. He should make a potion for that.

"Ten points from Hufflepuff and detention for a week Potter."

"As you wish Severus."

"POTTER!"

"I'm right here Severus, no need to holler." She chided, still smiling.

For a moment he contemplated Legilimency. Dumbledore had told him to use it and part of him was just _so_ curious as to what went on in that strange mind of hers.

"Will I be serving detention with you, Severus?" She purred and yeah, he wasn't using Legilimency on her, no. There was a reason why even Albus only used it on the younger ones.

Teenagers, as Severus had discovered when he'd caught a seventh year in an empty classroom after curfew the first time and tried to find out why, had _filthy_ minds. He used to think that it was the boys who were worse but no, the girls were infinitely scarier. Imaginative in ways Severus hadn't even known. In later years, recalling the way Potter, James Potter that is, had suddenly become quiet and a model student once he'd begun dating Lily, Severus had wondered what he would have seen in his once best friend's mind. Now watching her daughter he was suddenly very glad he'd never found out.

He was afraid of what was in her head, it was certain to test what little was left of his self-control.

Best not to engage, he thought and cleared his throat and told them to begin making the Wiggenfield potion and finally some peace in his class. Luckily, Etsy was actually paying attention to her potion instead of her potions professor and Severus got a few minutes to catch his breath and let his blood circulate to his brain.

And then Finch-Fletchley began hitting his unicorn horn instead of grinding it and Severus rose to deal with him.

"Jesus fucking Christ what are you doing?! You'll get unicorn horn everywhere and it'll contaminate the other ingredients." Etsy exclaimed before he could say anything.

"I'm just grinding it." The Hufflepuff was confused. Of course he was. How did he manage to get into NEWT level classes to begin with?

Oh, right. Sprout's Puffs harvested their plants and fungi themselves from the greenhouses. Better ingredients meant better potions even if the people brewing them were idiots.

"You only bash it in the beginning to break it up, after that use circular motions to grind it. And cover it with your hand so it doesn't go everywhere. We don't need so much powdered unicorn horn for the potion so take out some of the other pieces and focus on getting a small amount of really consistent powder."

She knew potions. He had never been this turned on his whole life.

* * *

Severus had the distinct feeling he was forgetting something. Something important. Quickly Severus ran over the events of the day trying to figure out just what he was forgetting as he dragged himself up to his office.

His first day of classes had gone as terribly as it usually did, only lifted slightly by the knowledge that Etsy knew potions. It had gone downhill soon after though when the Dark Lord had called for him and Draco and questioned them both about the Girl-Who-Lived in between several Crucios. There wasn't much to tell, Severus already knew what information he was to pass on to the Dark Lord and Draco had only seen her briefly in the Great Hall.

But the Dark Lord had been in a better mood than usual, satisfied almost. The shivers Severus usually had after one of these meetings were less violent than they usually were, even Draco had suffered only lightly. Bellatrix, the crazy bitch, had actually been a bit disappointed that her nephew was able to stand on own two feet this time round. Usually Snape had to support his godson as they apparated back to Hogsmeade.

It was worrying though that he hadn't been pressed much to find out about Etsy. He was being kept out of things, things that even Bellatrix didn't know of and that wasn't good. When the Dark Lord played his cards too close to the chest, it was unpredictable and usually ended in a lot of death and murder and mayhem. He proffered to have his Death Eaters on the front line of duty but this time it wasn't going that way. Bellatrix had foamed at the mouth in rage, angry about some clandestine meetings the Dark Lord was having that even his inner circle wasn't allowed in on. There were things Severus and Draco weren't privy to for fear of Dumbledore picking through their minds but even so, Yaxley and Dolohov were usually involved in them for the former's involvement in the Ministry and the latter for his ingenuity in torture.

But no one knew whom he was talking to now. There was somebody, somebody new that much was for certain, Dolohov had felt the shift in the wards to let this secret but favoured person in but who it was that they did not know.

That was for Dumbledore to look into. There was only so much information Severus would be privy to as long as he still held his post in Hogwarts, after all.

But what was he forgetting?

He turned the corner and saw a strange sight. Etsy was sitting on the floor, back leaning against the door to his office with her legs stretched out in front of her, bopping to some beat.

"What are you doing here?" He asked when the rest of him caught up to his thoughts. She looked up and shot him that slow smile that he was really starting to be wary of.

"Why I'm here for my detention of course."

Shit.

She stopped smiling and got up so fast he got a head rush just looking at her.

"You're shaking." Before he could berate her for pointing out the obvious, she had tugged him into the office giving him a second to unlock the door and sat him down on his own chair while she looked over his shelves.

"Ms Potte-" He found himself holding the vial of potion he brewed for the after effects of the Cruciatus. "How did you know where this was?"

"I recognised it's colour from the time Voldie was interrogating Pettigrew."

That had been months ago back when the Dark Lord was grilling the rat on everything he knew about the secret passage sin Hogwarts and pushed Wormtail too far. Severus had to administer this potion just to understand what Pettigrew was saying, he'd been shaking so hard. Pettigrew had been Avada'd shortly after having outlived his usefulness.

"How do you even know that?"

"I saw it happen, now drink." She said, pushing the vial to his mouth, strangely reminiscent of Poppy and he swallowed it in one quick gulp, eager to return to their conversation.

"What do you mean you _saw_ it?"

"I saw it in a vision."

"You're a seer?" She didn't seem the Trelawney type. No smell of incense and sherry combining to create a revolting stench that resembled vomit hung from her. Just the usual cinnamon.

"No, through the link Voldie and I had. The little piece of his soul that was stuck in my scar." She tilted her head in a quick bird-like movement. "Didn't Dumbledore tell you?"

What. The. Fuck.


	5. Chapter 5

What Severus wanted was answers, what he got was a fussy mother hen intent upon checking him over. It was like Pomfrey only with considerable more gentleness and a bit more distracted touching (that he really should have been discouraging). But otherwise it was very much the same, she refused to answer any questions he had until she was sure of his good health.

"Strip."

"I imagined the first time you said it it would be under different conditions." Severus said absently and cursed himself silently for the slip of tongue.

"The night is young."

"No, it's not." It was little over one in the morning in fact.

She just shrugged and began manhandling him to get his robes off. "Jet lag."

"You've been in the country for the past month."

"Fine then, weird sleep issues, come on, strip. Voldie knows you react badly if there's a stunner aimed at your right shoulder." How the fuck did she know that?

"He was in a good mood, you don't need to worry."

All distracted touching and attempts at stripping him stopped. It was quite disappointing although Severus wouldn't admit to it.

"You don't think I need to worry that Voldie was in a good mood?"

Well, when put like that.

"What do you mean you had a link to him?" Severus changed the topic.

"Like I said, when he tried to kill me and failed, his already fragmented soul decided to take up residence in my curse scar. Whenever Voldie felt strongly about things I tended to see through his eyes. It was really not fun when he came to life two years ago at night here. Back home it was still evening, we were revising for our prelims. Went to a healer and they told me about the soul fragment. Long story short I had a shit load of visions and knew a lot about his plans, anytime I thought it would I passed along information, researched on how to get the little soul out of me and finally managed to do that a month or so ago."

"Wait, whom did you pass along the information to?"

"Any wizarding attacks I reported directly to the Magical department in the FBI. They would have told the ministry here, I think they played it off as a prophetic thing, and the plans for muggle neighbourhoods I sent to the Prime Minister here. Apparently it saved a lot of people during the winter of 96, some village attacks?"

Severus remembered that. They'd gone after what was supposed to be a village of harmless civilians, found an army base instead. It had removed all suspicion off him as he hadn't even been told about the attacks until his potions were needed in the aftermath. The long range weapons that the muggles used had decimated the ranks, that night Severus' Healer qualifications were put to good use as the injured came pouring in. In that battle the inner circle of the Death Eaters were left haemorrhaging and the lower ranks all but gone. Bellatrix had lost her left arm, Macnair of all people was killed, Lucius now used his cane as a cane and not just a place to hide his blade and the Dark Lord had turned his attention away from the muggles to focus on the 'mudbloods' instead.

"He wasn't too happy with it, no." Severus said lightly, knowing full well that the Dark Lord had been terrified.

"He had nightmares after that you know," Etsy said softly. "The Blitz, he was still a Hogwarts student when the bombings were happening. Had to go back to his orphanage in the summers in the middle of a siege. First time I ever pitied him. Sometimes I think if it wasn't for the war he wouldn't be a Dark Lord. Wouldn't feel that need to 'fly from death' if he hadn't had that first hand experience of it when he was a kid."

"You know where the other soul phylacteries are?" Dumbledore hadn't said anything about them to Severus at least. He knew the diary was one though and she had said that the Dark Lord's soul was so heavily fragmented it had latched onto her curse scar. There must have been others then and the thoughts of it turned his stomach.

"I may have some guesses but for the most part, no. I tried not to linger in his mind too long."

Well, he didn't blame her for that. Dumbledore must have known, of course he did. It explained everything, why the man had gone mad trying to find her in the years after he came across the Diary, why he was worried she might be a Slytherin, the old coot never did get over his prejudice of Severus' house. They were all people to be redeemed and only _then_ trusted. Why he wanted Severus to be the one to get inside her mind but wouldn't do so himself. He was _afraid_.

And it was a sobering thought. For all that Severus thought the man was verging on senile the thought of him being afraid was shocking to say the least. Albus was a very important person to him. He may have grown a bit distant recently but Albus was the closest thing he had to a mentor. "Albus is a good man."

It surprised him really, how less often he thought of Albus. In the years after Lily's murder following Albus' orders were the only thing grounding him. That had changed in the last few years, most notably when Black was found innocent of his crime. Severus still thought of him as a murderer, Black had tried to get him killed after all but he hadn't been the one to kill _Lily_. And somewhere between Pettigrew escaping Dumbledore's clutches and having to serve another master albeit falsely, Severus had stopped thinking of Albus as a _wise_ man but he was still good.

"Is he a great man? Is he a powerful man? You're Playing double spy, I'll ask you this, why is Voldie scared of Dumbledore?"

"Because he's a very powerful wizard and he defeated Grindelwald."

"Have you seen this great power of his in battle? And Grindelwald, what did he do during the war before defeating him?"

"I-I don't know."

"Everything I know and have read about Dumbledore makes him sound like a relatively powerful wizard and a great researcher,a great academic, but beyond that? Nothing."

"He defeated the last Dark Lord." Severus couldn't help but point out. Grindelwald had begun a war that spanned continents and here she said Albus sounded like nothing.

"One duel Severus, one singular duel. IS he a good tactician? A good soldier? A good politician?Which of these laws he's passed during his tenure as Supreme Mugwump and Chief Warlock can you talk of off the top of your head? Everyone knows of those twelve uses for dragon blood he found out,what about the rest?"

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying Dumbledore is all reputation, little else. Voldy's lived in my head, I know his real name, I looked him up. Do you know what I found?"

"What?"

"Tom Marvolo Riddle has interacted with Dumbledore only as an authority figure of Hogwarts. Nothing else. He is scared of him the way that Gryffindor kid Neville is scared of you. And as Voldie, he has _never_ fought Dumbledore. Simply put, Dumbledore isn't qualified to be a war general."

No, no that couldn't be true, could it? Dumbledore...Well, Severus had probably just never seen him in his full glory. He hadn't been around when the Order had first been created, that wa sall. Dumbledore couldn't just be a bad leader, could he?

* * *

In many ways, Etsy knew that the wizards in UK? They were just children. Their world was immense and that made them feel powerful. They never realised that their world was immense because they were all so very small in it. It wasn't their fault, the ministry had done all it could to isolate them and they had taken it at its word. Trusting, childlike. Even Voldemort and all those other Big Bads, they were simply vicious bullies. Bullies that had already mucked about in their playgrounds and thinking of stepping out of it. It was all black and white for this lot and that was screwing things up massively.

Which didn't of course mean that back home was any sort of paradise of course. America had a few too many necromancers, not to mention that human trafficking ring that loved to pick up witches and wizards for their 'durability'.

But it wasn't on the verge of a fucking civil war at least. Oh, she had a fuckton to worry about with crime and all that jazz but here, here the very fabric of their society was being torn and that never ended well.

* * *

 **A/N: Late update! I'm so sorry but someone in the family died and then I fell sick and it has been a bad few weeks which is kind of reflected in this chapter, it isn't quite as playful as the rest. Just figured that some more groundwork was needed before moving onto the Triwizard stuff and also needed to establish what Etsy thinks of Dumbledore.**

 **But seriously, it is hard to separate Dumbledore's power from the Elder wand's power and that changes things. Because Dumbledore is Legend level but really even in the books we don't see him doing much powerful stuff. The most impressive thing about him is how much he knows and a lot of that is him doing research and using Legilimency. He always struck me as a person who clung to his power just because he thought not doing anything with it would be better than someone else doing terrible things and that led to it stagnating and the whole Post-GOF thing where he loses his titles and a shit load of supporters.**

 **Thanks for reading and have a nice day!**


	6. Chapter 6

This was it. What everyone in their year had been waiting for. NEWT DADA with a bonfide Auror. On either side of Etsy an excited boy waited, all but bouncing on the toes. Ernie had been waiting for this ever since Moody had entered the Great Hall, well aware of Moody's pedigree as the greatest Dark Wizard catcher of the last war. Justin had also begun displaying the same hyper excitement when word of how bloody amazing his class was made its way through Hogwarts. Gryffindors had emerged from the classroom all kind s of gloating victorious while the Slytherins had been pale and wan.

"It's going to be amazing, Snape's already pissed off." Ernie crowed jubilantly and Padma, the Ravenclaw who was sitting on the bench next to theirs, sniffed in disdain. Etsy met her stare and rolled her eyes mouthing 'boys' and the witch smirked in commiseration.

Moody made his way into the classroom with the same aplomb he had back at the Welcoming feast. His peg leg clunked dramatically against the stone of the hallways and Etsy wondered if he was doing that on purpose. Surely sneaking up on Dark Wizards would be difficult if his footsteps sounded like the blonde girl in all horror movies that walked slowly in ridiculously high heels before pausing to scream and then being murdered?

"Everyone here? If they aren't, well their loss. You lot haven't had any consistency in the teachers, eh?" His magical eye whizzed around and when it settled on her he looked surprised but shook it off. Etsy figured that if his eye could see all kind s of magical residue then her warding tats and amulets must be a glowing fucking beacon. "Right then, we'll go row wise and everyone's going to tell me a spell or curse they know and its strengths and weaknesses, possible uses and that crock. No repeating anything someone's already said." And the last row started shifting uncomfortably.

Which was all kind s of pathetic. There were only about twenty students in the class, surely they would know at least twenty spells that could be used in battle?

"We haven't had the same teacher for more than a year." Justin said worriedly. "First year was a jumpy guy who stuttered so much we used the previous years' notes for exams. Second year was this fraud Lockhart who was thrown in Azkaban for using memory alteration on minors, Third year, Lupin, was the only good teacher we had but he had to resign when he was outed as a werewolf. Fourth year there was no teacher, all the other professors split the class between themselves. Fifth year the ministry sent this gross toad woman and she offended the centaurs so horribly that they invoked the Ancient Rights of Justice and she hasn't been seen since and sixth year the teacher died on Halloween and Lupin took over as a substitute teacher."

"Oh right, the curse on the DADA position, I forgot about that. Why they don't just rename it Battle Magics and shift the classroom I don't know." They were now halfway through the class and so far it was pretty obvious that if Voldemort attacked Hogwarts the students weren't going to be able to do shit. There were a few Ravenclaws that she thought might be able to do something but on the whole that expectation fell flat, they had good rote knowledge but lacked the inventiveness that duels required.

Ernie stood up next to her rather proudly and announced, "Impedimenta." And began extolling its virtues. It was sweet but really more useful against creatures rather than people and even then mainly against creatures without a magic resistant hide.

Still, it would be her turn soon and she wondered what to say. The way Etsy duelled was a combination of almost constant movement and a fair bit of rune building. Last time she had used her wand to magic out an entrapment rune all around her opponent while moving about, it was just the way her mind worked. Runes were better. Spells and curse were good as distraction but always seemed weak compared to runes which drew their strength from the ambient magic in the earth. Runes were so incredibly beautiful.

But spells and curses were what they were focusing on so she would have to think for that. Maybe an obliviate to have them forget that a duel was going on? A tongue tying curse so they wouldn't be able to spell? But no, there were fair few Death Eaters who were good at non verbals.

A confundus? Yes, a confundus. She knew better spells but they were considered Dark spells in the Wizarding UK and since they were sticking to a more basic level she might as well work with that.

"Confundus charm. Advantages: Affects ability of opponent to cast spells. Disadvantages: If use dona much stronger opponent their natural magic may overcome it quicker than expected and is limited to causing confusion only on one person. If outnumbered and in a fight rather than a one on one duel, the spell is rendered all but useless. Is particularly useful since it also has the ability to affect objects and creatures both of which may be used in guarding things. Has implications for cursed objects since they may be confounded to redirect their effects."

Moody's eyes flicked around before focusing on her. "The one person to survive a Killing Curse thinks a Confundus can do so much damage?"

"Well if someone actually tries to kill me," She noted absently while Justin talked of the jelly legs jinx, "my first response is actually just shooting them in the head or lobbing a Molotov cocktail with a chemical accelerant that doesn't allow for a flame freezing charm to take hold but he said spells so." Yes, that was only if she knew beforehand that there were people trying to kill her but still. Besides, it was fun to watch them all freak out, especially Ernie next to her who was clutching a hand to his chest like a Victorian lady clutching her pearls.

"Shoot them in the head?!" Ernie squeaked and Justin shrugged as Moody moved on to the next row..

"She _is_ American."

"Harriet potter is a British treasure." Ernie hissed and as the rest of the class continued and then finished and they began moving down to the dungeons for potions, they continued discussing her importance without any input from her.

It was weird.

It was also funny.

It was going to get funnier.

"Come on lads," She slung her arms around the boys and marched them forward. " _Severus_ awaits."

And she could feel the shudder that ran through Ernie while Justin gagged. It was great, she'd made her interest in Severus obvious and the entirety of Hufflepuff thought she was doing it to make fun of Severus and retaliate for her detention. They actually thought she was _joking_. Apparently no student had ever hit on him before which she found hard to believe. He was a bad boy, an authority figure AND he ran detentions. It was the start of every porn movie ever made. He even ran the dungeons, that was the medieval roleplay stuff too. How could nobody have ever flirted with him?

Although it was concerning that the Hufflepuffs thought she was sexually harassing him and were doing nothing to stop her. If it wasn't for the fact that detentions were probably the only time she got to talk to him without an audience she would have strung up the house ages ago.

Unfortunately the last detention she'd gotten, some other kid was there too. That Weasel guy Hermione had warned her about had set off some dungbombs and gotten into trouble. Horrible guy, the first thing he'd said to her was "You're Harriet Potter! Can I see your scar?"

If she was a young eleven year old who'd heard that she would have punched him in the face and found a chair to break over his head which, in her defence, was mostly Dudley's fault for converting her to soccer hooliganism. But as a seventeen year old mature woman she had a different reaction.

She told him to fuck off unless he wanted her to punch him in the face and break a chair over his head. See, growth.

Sadly, he spent some time considering that. Apparently getting beat up by the Girl-Who-Lived would be cool. He only reconsidered when Severus came in and told him that neither of them would be taking him to to the infirmary.

Idiot.

But tonight would be just her and Severus. Well, once she flirted her way into the detention of course.

 _Fifteen minutes later_

"...Detention Ms Potter."

* * *

"Now, do we do it now?" Severus watched as Etsy all but bounced on her feet.

"Do what?"

"Pool the information we have to make actual decisions that are rational!"

"What a strange concept, I've never seen that in practice." Severus dead-panned although it was true. The Dark Lord and Dumbledore kept their own council and Lucius preferred to only discuss Draco which was just terrible because his godson could be an incredibly obnoxious idiot some- no, most of the time.

"Fine, do...you want to start or should I?"

"Well I really need to know if you or ole Dumbles have any idea why Voldie went out of his way to kill my parents. I've gone over it a million times in my head and that doesn't seem right, he doesn't seem the proactive type."

And of course it started with the hardest thing of all. The prophecy that he had delivered to the Dark Lord and in effect killed his first friend.

"Dumbledore was interviewing Trelawney for the Divination job. She made a prophecy that-" He stopped there wondering if he should even tell her it was his own actions that had damned her. He could play it off as something else, something Dumbledore told him.

He didn't want her to hate him. She deserved to know it but Severus just didn't want her to hate him. He couldn't remember the last time someone had taken to him of their own volition and not just because Dumbledore vouched for him. He could tell her something else but it would be a lie. He'd already lost one friend decades ago when he'd lied and called her a 'mudblood'. All those years and even though Lily had all but hated him for saying that, he knew well that she didn't really know everything about what it meant. That one of the many reasons 'Blood traitors' hated that term so much was because it reminded them of a time in the ages gone by when Purebloods would, as a sport, turns muggleborns' blood to mud, slowly, torturously and all for fun.

He had lied that day and done more than just that, implied to his friends that he would gladly watch and curse her to a slow and painful death.

And before he knew the words were tumbling out of his mouth.

"I overheard part of it before I was kicked out and I went to the Dark Lord with it. _The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches...Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies…"_

"What was the rest of it?"Severus cocked his head. Wasn't she supposed to be angry right now? She must have understood his confusion because she rolled her eyes. "Prophecies are pretty intricate in ways. If you hadn't heard it then he wouldn't have tried to kill me. But if that wasn't the case then there would have been no prophecy whatsoever but that might also mean that he would never have been defeated. It may sound arrogant of me but it's not. Voldemort diverted all his attention to a baby, having that disruption from his plans is what led to the Wizarding World being safe. Until then he was in essence a fascist dictator but when there's a personal opponent, a _hero_ so to speak, he became a much more easily defeated villain. It's all a self sustaining paradox."

Severus prided himself on his intellect. It had fled him now.

"...What?"

"What was meant to happen, happens."

"Albus always says it's the choices we make that define us."

"Sure, but our choices are informed by the environment and the situations that shape the landscape of our mind." She nodded knowingly. "So the prophecy?"

"I don't know the rest of it. Albus knows but he won't tell anyone."

"So we ask Trelawney." She shrugged.

"Sybil doesn't remember any of the prophecies she makes."

"Well, shit. Aunt Petunia always said half knowledge is worse than no knowledge."

"Really?" Tuney said that? That didn't sound like her.

"No, I lied. Read it in a book of quotations. I suppose you can't just pick it out of Dumbledore's head with Legilimency?"

"How did you know I'm a Legilimens?"

"Voldie was annoyed by Bellatrix always asking about your loyalty. Crucio'd the fuck out of her when she got too repetitive and told her she was pretty useless whereas you were in Dumbledore's court and could pick things out of Longbottom's head. The bitch annoys everyone. Don't know why he was thinking of Longbottom specifically though."

"His parents defied him thrice and he was born late June, as the seventh month dies. He assumed that Longbottom was Dumbledore's back up plan."

"Hard to believe that there were just the two of us though. And Voldy's pretty old there could be a bajillion people born to people who've thrice defied him, it could even be someone from an older generation. I wonder if we could find some sort of access to birth records in the past ninety years?" She tapped a finger to her chin thoughtfully before shaking her head as if to rid herself of the thought. "Anyway,s o the rest of the prophecy can't be found."

"Except in the Hall of Prophecy. There's a copy of every prophecy ever made there."

"So we get it from there."

"No, no! The Hall of Prophecies is in the Department of Mysteries!"

"You people have some weird departments here."

"It's in the Ministry of Magic, the Department of Mysteries is where the Unspeaka-"

Severus stopped there and took a deep breath. Then he proceeded to explain every single thing about the Department of mysteries and why it was afucking big problem if she just rushed in there.

"I get what you're saying Severus, really I do. It's like the CIA. Or the Fight Club but see I'm not planning to break in there."

Severus paused. "You're not?"

"No. I just figured that one of those government monkeys who'll come here for the tournament wouldn't turn down the PR opportunity of being photographed with the Girl-Who-Lived at the Ministry of Magic and once there I could just file the paperwork to see the prophecy."

"The Unspeakables might not agree to that. They'll want to know what the prophecy is."

Which might not be good. If it leaked in any shape or form that Etsy was predestined to defeat the Dark Lord, people would go mental over her. She was already squirming just at the thought of the tiny act of using her fame for this, how much worse could it get?

"Well, then I won't agree it until they sign a magically binding confidentiality agreement that stipulates that if they dare divulge any part of the prophecy without my explicit consent given under no influence from any outside person, potion, spell or coercion/pressure from any form of authority. It's not like _they_ can pick up the prophecy right? Well, not unless they get Voldie to do it."

"That...might just work. You'll still have to be careful though."

"I had wards tattooed onto my body, check every meal for poison, have a backup wand on me right now and enough vials of potions to successfully make a self igniting molotov cocktail in under three seconds, you really think you need to tell me to be careful?"

Well, when put like that…

"Still, you are taking this remarkably well."

"You don't seriously think this is the first time shit has gone down in my life, do you?"

Severus didn't respond.

"Holy shit you do! You don't know runes do you?" She pointed at her forehead. "Sowilo, basically just one of the most positive rune ever. It means wholeness, light, revelation, all those wonderful things. And when there's a magically activated rune it becomes true, it has life to it."

Well, that made sense. Absently Severus wondered if James Potter had this rune as well, certainly explained all the things he was able to get away with. But she was still talking and the cheerful grin on her face had dropped hard.

"-Unfortunately the magic used to make this rune was a killing curse and a soul fragment attached itself to it. Everything about its creation and the magic it held was the antithesis of what the rune really embodies. And ambient magic is relatively sentient, it can sense when things are out of place and it _responds_. Usually by trying to destroy the anomaly aka me. The amount of shit I have gotten into cannot be expressed in words. This shit," She jangled her wrists in front of him so he could all her warding charms, "-is not fucking paranoia because it's all true. I have the combination of the worst luck in the world, because somehow crazy, life threatening things happen to me, and the best luck because somehow I fucking survive them!

And now I'm seventeen, the blood protection is gone, my family could be in danger just because they're my family so I had to leave my home to come to this fucking backwater to destroy a fucking Dark Lord just so that I can actually go to my cousin's fucking graduation without people trying to kill everyone!"

And then she _burst into tears_. Merlin, he could barely deal with crying children, now he had acrying woman on his hands?

It was worse than when the Dark Lord Cruico'd him.

He'd much rather she started flirting with him outrageously again.

* * *

 **A/N: Look, I updated! I was inspired by all of you really nice people and your kind words.**

 **Hoping to keep to this length now that things are actually happening especially because next up: Beauxbatons and Durmstrang are coming to Hogwarts and the Triwizard tournament is starting.**

 **It's quite exciting merging the Goblet of Fire events with a seventh year. Goblet of Fire is my my favourite book in the series to re-read, my ultimate favourite is Prisoner of Azkaban because Sirius but I've read Goblet of Fire far too many I first read it I was in such a daze because it was so amazing that I can't remember the week after. I distinctly remember thinking 'Where am I, what's my name, why is this not Hogwarts?' during roll call and got very annoyed looks from the teacher.**

 **What's your favourite Harry Potter book?**


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